Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Quote - A Powerful Lesson

I'm so sorry Ray, i do love u, i do appreciate u, but i live in the real world so i need a real person. i tried to wait u for a long time... but i got nothing...
via sonja

As I have mentioned before on this blog, I have experienced many different levels, of powerful lesson in love through loss. As I realized today and looking back at the previous post, I understand better why things did not seem to work out. I look at my track record in love and certainly it is not spectacular, though there has always been one constant. That there can be love, but as it has been said many times in many different variations. Love is a wonderful thing, yet it is always fleeting. As love without action, and follow through is only a feeling running away from the person who did not take the steps to make a change to bring the love to fruition.

In that quote I added lovezlessons I realized that perhaps the challenge with love is that in and of itself, like a flower it withers without being taken care of, even a flower that seemed to have lasted six years with such a minimum of care will eventually falter, and slowly wither away. Just as this quote represents, she waited for me, sonja who waited for me for over six years and I kept in touch, I kept the communications open but never beyond that, there was only words, only messages, not a person, not handwritten letter only words on a screen. May as well just been another spammer when you consider that love as the flower withers without care, and if there is not a person, there is not a real being who communicates by the simple effort of writing a handwritten letter or showing proof that the love is truly there. Then it is like giving up and letting go, to see if the plant can survive on it's own, without care, without expression. The fact of course is that the plant will die, the beautiful flower will wither to nothing, without a person. Without a real connection. Lacking the touch, the feeling the existence, the actuality of the moment. Things which are so important, to keep the love alive, to keep it from flitting away and being lost till the end of the time we each have on this earth. It is not to say love is only a one time thing, more to say that love can be found once again but when it is lost it can be more difficult to find once again.

As we as humans adapt, sometimes for the better or worse, but we adapt. We become stronger supposedly, close our inner person up because we do not want to be hurt again, we try and fortify our true feelings figuring the world is a callus place. When in reality, the responsibility is with you and the person in the mirror. Simply put, such a circumstance can be slowed by taking the time to make the effort to add a bit of water, a bit of Tender Loving Care, to help the flower once again recall that there is life. There is existence, one can grow, can show in all it's glory.

It is merely a matter of action beyond the words of I love you, the proof positive that there is more to it, that there is love with a person not just with a machine, a being who only exists online never beyond that. When she said it like that, she lives in Real Life, she needs Real Love, it should of been seen as the clue, the key to help her grow. To help the love grow and progress and become what it truly is, more then just a feeling, a lifestyle. True existence, love, some say defy's definition. Really though, love is the whole package, the words, the actions, the simple and small little things that make the love special, make the flower see there is more to it, there is more to grow, more to experience. Truly love is a lifestyle, to do the simple things for the one you truly love, to offers non-judgemental ideas and opportunities.

Love can become life, if only it is remembered, how truly important it is to take action on the feeling, before the feeling flits away. I do not say I am a relationship counselor, instead I simply say I am a person who has experienced Love and Loss, and I am sure we each have had that experience. Certainly we adapt, we do what we can to improve who we are, the first step is always the most difficult, and words and action are two very distinct ideas and yet like the Yin and the Yang they complement each other. Words and Action brings results, a flower that is watered and taken care of will only grow and become more beautiful, while on the other side, if a flower is not taken care of, if no action is ever taken there is only death. There is only an end to existence, in a lonely life, for those last days as the colors fade away, and slowly but surely the flower that has not been taken care of will pass into oblivion. So really instead of death let there be life, let there be growth, simply take those actions in love, and grow through them, solidify what is true love by action, don't you agree?

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Love & Lost Phase II

Well the final straw went ahead and broke the camels back, in a letter from my ex to my good friend who we will call sonja, insulting her beyond any necessary scope and making her feel that she is hurting this supposed us that it seemed my ex thought there was between her and I. As a result sonja just informed me that she will stop all communication between her and I because of my ex and the letter she sent sonja, and myself disrespecting and insulting the both of us via friendster. Such insults that struck deep within sonja's kind heart, to a point where she then wanted to discontinue all communication and sever all ties. The sad thing is just the other day sonja had sent me a message, proclaiming that thank God for bringing me into her life. Even with such excitement and joy less than a day later this whole event took place, simultaneously severing all communications and hurting both sonja and I. One letter that was the last singular straw until the camel could handle no more. Such damage that destroyed a friendship built up over years and constant communication. To add insult to injury sonja and I were just about coming onto the 7th year we had kept in touch in so many days that have passed.

The question is if a relationship is built over a span of time, does it not seem that even the slightest ripple from the rock being thrown in the river have such a devastating effect? When a relationship is strong, shouldn't it then withstand the inevitable storms of life and jealous girls? It seems in my own view that a solid relationship built on a solid foundation should only become stronger, the bond more secure throught he good and bad times. The only reason a relationship would seem to fall apart before your eyes is if you built it on sand it will eventually collapse after only a few storms. Just as any foundation that is not fortified will eventually succumb to the ravages of time.

The situation in this particular relationship seems to relay that perhaps what was thought to be solid was never truly fortified and as a result one challenge in life, that results in being insulted without cause or reason, can be enough to break it apart. One singular message my ex decided to send to me and sonja, because she was unhappy that she was not getting her way and that the relationship was not working, could have such dire consequences. The annoying persistence of my ex simply because she was not getting her way. It may of been a series of things or that one straw hard to say when communication with the only other party involved is severed and disconnected. All because of a false assumption of my ex, figuring that by hurting the only other one I cared about who was one of my best friends would give her the way she wanted.

I can only close with saying how disappointed I am in my ex, as I figured she was better then that. On the other hand though, it was probably for the better so that my ex cannot hurt another with her scorn and jealousy based on a false assumption. The basis of this whole process, because I thought I could give my ex one more chance, my mistake it would seem. Vision is certainly 20/20 when you look back and step out of the personal aspect of it and see this situation for what it was. Simply a womens scorn from a false assumption and the jealousy of my ex thinking if she hurt another she would have me. I honestly cannot say what went down, only those two know what occured there and what lead up to the letter sonja sent me communicating that she wanted to sever all communications because she thought she was hurting my ex, when in reality my ex had already hurt herself.

The straw that broke the camels back, no more opportunities for my ex, no more chances for her, it over between her and I. I realize now that I really should of stopped this long before it reached this point, certainly at least sonja would not of then got hurt, and this article will never have been written. If it had, a different format, a separate idea following the same theme of Loves Lessons, harsh as a teacher love may be it can only improve who you are as you progress through the eventual challenges that are par for the course of life.

The final result, severance of communication to sonja, a person I cared about and was one of my best friends, lost because of a spoiled brats, scorn and jealousy. For now it ends, but you never know what tomorrow will bring, what next month will provide and be seen. Will it be the end or the beginning of a new chapter in life?

Stay Tuned ....

Monday, December 8, 2008

And it Ends or Does it Began?

Much has changed in so few days, so few hours it would seem. Finally we came down to it, her and I at 1a her time she wanted to talk with me. And so we talked for a bit, as this conversation progressed I knew it was going to end inevitably in the final word on a relationship that had seemed to be on very rocky ground, had become shallow, the depth was lost. Two years it had been her and I were together. Many conversations on the phone, on ym, but never in person. She at distance and me so far away. She lived on islands of the Philippines, and I will still here in California. So many times I had wanted to go and see her but as time passed, more and more arguments this process had begun seeming small at first but growing by the day and by the hour. We drifted further and further apart and it was not the same relationship it once was. I never made the trip because if I was to make the trip, I had expected it to be on good terms, not after arguments. Not after battles, hanging up breaking up and coming together again. Both seeming to want to make it work though it seemed there was little or no help that it would ever come about as something that could last.

Sure love was spoken but I wonder if it was truly felt, or was it only an attempt to hold together that which was clearly falling apart? It was a downward spiral for sure, things were not working, the arguments became more frequent and though it was started many times to speak those final words to say it was over, to say Goodbye for the final time, they were never uttered until this very day at 9a in the morning where after taking the time to listen and hear her out, I could see where it was going. Tears they did fall, and I have no qualms with letting them roll down my face, call it what you will but to hold it in makes no sense. So the tears the fell, my eyes became swollen and the sadness it enveloped me as I could see in her words the same for her. This is a girl I have loved through the good and bad times, through sadness and feeling of loss, through many the walk in the night to just try and clear my mind to try and reconnect to try and maintain what was unravelling by the day. To try and put blinders on to not see the truth of the matter because the saying goes "Love Conquers All". The same reason many a woman who is battered stays with her Husband, or Boyfriend because of that false belief. Love is a feeling, in it there is depth, or perhaps it is just a cover to try and hold two who are moving farther apart together come hell or high water. The fact of the matter is that things sometimes just don't work out, you can love but know that perhaps one day the feelings will be gone. That one day we will realise it is a survival mechanism, to try and stay away from the inevitable hurt that a broken relationship often results in. We are human, no person wants to be hurt but sometimes we must realise that it is not working and move on. There is still life after a breakup no matter how hard it may be.

I thought for awhile that I could pull us together, by being who I needed to be, to not deny who I am, or what I am. To be the stronger of the two to pull together what is already inevitably disconnected. The relationship, it was not working and yet still I tried. No matter the effort, no matter what I did it was not meant to be. To utter such a thing though, is still hard to say as only this morning did I let her go, did I say GoodBye for that final time. Knowing full well there was nothing either of us could do to improve the situation. A failure perhaps, and yet more better suited as a lesson to you and to me and perhaps to her. That things will improve in the future, but the first one you talk to, may or may not be the one that will put the ring on your finger. Who will consumate the relationship by offering a girl the privilege to be a wife. It is sad to say but perhaps there is no Prince Charming, no perfect situation, only one which is mutually consumated in the process that is marriage. And even that sorry to say is not the end all the final chapter, because you never know what the future holds. Things they will surely change, as each day passes into the next. For there is no real finale, because until you are layed to rest that final time, you never truly know how it will go.

To reside in the present seems the best choice for the times, to go forward each day, not to give up, but to know that there will be ups and downs. There will be wins and losses, happiness and sadness, it's lives journey. Its those curve balls that each day we are pitched, the only thing you can do, still go to bat and try try try again. Eventually you will hit the ball out of the park, perhaps find the one who you can be with for the rest of years, til that final sleep.

The point being is we only know the present, and in the present we must reside, to grow in the time to see what tomorrow will bring. Not to put all your eggs in one basket, but to keep your eyes open and your sense keen. Living in the now is the best we can do, so why not make that quality decision to reside in this moment fully, as even in this loss I must remember my own words, to know thyself and in that awareness to become better for it.

Thanks for Reading

Friday, December 5, 2008

To Be of the Year of The Dragon

Facts to Know about Dragon Love Compatibility

by biotrend

Dragons are popular and easily attract people through their irresistible, charismatic, generous and intrepid personality. Even standing beside them can dispel fear. They are capable of generating excitement and are head turners. These impulsive free spirits are also congenial spouses and help their partners to realize their dreams.

Dragon lovers also have the strange knack of making people around them feel better and so people love to be in their company. Because of their impulsive natures, dragons don't take time to fall in love.

But they are not ready to surrender their independence easily and can leave their partners to lead solitary lives if their independence is threatened. However the dragon will never desert his/her partner once he/she commits him/herself to the relationship.

What Do They Expect From Their Partners?

A dragon likes to get hitched to a funny, witty and smart lover.
His partner has to intrigue him and keep up his interest long enough to enable him to contemplate marriage. Dragons are moody and sentimental and pretty insensitive. It requires a thick-skinned and easygoing person to get along with a dragon comfortably. It is not easy to gel with a dragon spouse.

A dragon has a fierce and volatile temper and it becomes extremely difficult to handle him when he erupts. To add to these negative traits, dragons love to be the cynosure of all eyes and have to be showered with constant attention; they are egotistical, dominating, imperious and authoritative. Modesty is not their cup of tea. Solicited advice is something they abhor and they don't think twice before being insensitive and tactless with their partners. Therefore it requires a patient, understanding, mature and sensible person and oodles of guts to become a dragon 's compatible life partner.

Love and Compatibility with Various Signs

A dragon and a rat can forge a brilliant union that will overflow with plentiful love, mutual understanding and mental sensitivity. If both the partners can find out a middle path to make their relationship work, the marriage will work out fine. A dragon and tiger combination is full of gusto; it 's a powerful match that can fuel passion. Mutual cooperation and respect are necessary to make the relationship durable.

The obstacles and impediments in a dragon rabbit union can both divide or unite the couple. Both the dragon and ox are extremely obstinate, they don't realize the necessity of giving and taking in a relationship and hence will never find happiness in marriage. Two dragon people can become perfect partners if they learn to share the limelight. A dragon and a snake will fit together like hands in gloves for they are quick-witted, crafty and clever.

A horse can share a sizzling sexual chemistry with a dragon. A sheep and dragon are sexually compatible but the union won't be fruitful as there are too many differences between the partners. A monkey can be a good partner for a dragon for their aims and mentalities are matching which will bring them joy.

A dog and dragon match is not advisable for the affair will be too tempestuous and both partners will lose peace of mind. A pig can form a lasting relation with a dragon that will be full of deep affection and mutual care. A rooster and dragon have what it takes to form a beautiful couple, but the relationship falls apart due to egotism.

Article Source: Content for Reprint

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

GoodNight Sweetheart - Where to Go From Here.

GoodNight - To Say & To Believe - Love

It is amazing sometimes how things change, sometimes for the better other times for the worst, all in par for the course that is life with it's obstacles and ups and downs. To love a girl and to love her without condition, or malice can be a powerful thing but when this girl turns about and begins to speak of no longer being Boyfriend or Girlfriend, instead just friends what does it mean exactly? As I thought about it and had an opportunity to ask my friends online, I ended up with many view, but essentially it was merely a matter of either looking for more commitment or trying to get a feel for where each stands in the relationship. As I thought about it, I figured perhaps it was for the better, a more solid option to see where it goes, simply because of a quote offered to me by @successcoach via twitter that essentially said:

"relationships hurt, but how can you know love without pain, cherish what you have/had and keep those thoughts in your mind...
if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you it was meant to be"

That was some very serious thoughts, and got my mind to thinking ... that perhaps if this is meant to be in setting her free she will come back to me. Even if she does not at the very least letting a bird fly, helps you realize that the bird has always expected the freedom one day. And in that release perhaps she can find another who is more suitable to who she is looking for, even if it is not me. No doubt it may hurt a bit, but then again at the very least you let her fly to find her own way south.

It is a difficult time though as I thought things were looking up and was expecting a care package she had taken the time to prepare and send, and now I do not know if I will ever have the opportunity to see all the wonderful things she had done for me. Except as one friend to another, which I can appreciate but know it will not be at all the same. Better to step away on good terms though so my hope is that is what will occur in this experience. What are your thoughts? Share them in the comments and thanks for reading.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Long Distance Relationships and Trust Issues

Why is it so difficult to deal with a relationship at distance, for that matter why do people even take the first steps in that direction? I thought I had a girl, and all seemed well until my birthday came around and many of those I kept in touch with offered me warm birthday wishes, one of them was a very old friend of mine who I have kept in touch with for a long time.

In closing her birthday wishes, she shared that I was her best friend. And in that the other girl, I thought was going to be the one, does a 360 degree turn, and starts attacking me after questioning who this person was and why she signed the birthday wish as my best friend. Afterwards saying I was a playboy, and that I was messing with this friend of mine behind her back.

Seriously folks what are your thoughts on such matters? Is it worth staying with this person who is at distance, or is it better to move on from here. Share your views in the Comments down below.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

New & Exciting Updates

Brand new and further improved iDiscuss Forums @ And the story continues onward with additions of new entries @ &

And that is only the beginning the objective is to do a complete redesign of the site and explore the possiblities beyond that moment, any suggestions?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Come Check out Twitter @ or add me as a friend @ or share your views @

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Love Is Complex - An Enigma

You know when I think about it, this love, this enigma, I try to understand it ... to experience it and to understand while it should be unconditional it is sometimes not even close. I cared for a girl once, and I thought she cared for me but apparently not enough. As what may of been expected to go well, to have reached the logical climax, in the sense that the love lasts through the trials and errors inevitable in our existence today. A love that holds strong through the early years of a mutual relationship. To continue and to survive even through those tough times. It is in those times the truth may often come out ... to reach the point of an engagement, the first step in the direction of a life time commitment that is marriage. Yet I think about it, this girl I once knew, all seemed well except when you looked more closely removed the blinders often put up, to see if this person could truly be that one. The one you want to have kids with, you want to love and care for till late in the years. The vows say "Til Death Do You Part" meaning through all the challenges to love so much as to remain at that persons side. To not leave at the slightest inclination of frustration, whether it is monetary or otherwise. It is the understanding that regardless of the challenges we each face, within reason, that love is eternal. Love is expected to last for as many years as we are all so fortunate to be upon this earth. With time flying so fast, I wonder sometimes what do we each do with our time? With this minute amount of time as a part of this earth, will we leave the one there is claim to love because we do not get our way? Because we want something and it cannot be provided at that time. Is it in that there is reason to no longer love. To no longer love and to leave, because there is a challenge we face. One which we all need to get through.

When you consider love, and you try and expand the view on it, you find there are many sides to such a simple thing. There are many aspects, it is not just that you say 'I love you' it is what is behind the words. It is what either of the two truly hold beyond just those three words. On that point a thought came to my mind as I pondered the possibilities to a point where I decided to step away from this blog and move it to a new one:

On Lessons Learned Through Love

Perhaps new, another chapter of my experience, this one will survive in memory and in the future things will be brighter.

Monday, June 30, 2008

SOHH Site Hacked - Prejudice? Love Lost?

What kind of stupidity gives a person a reason to return to the prejudices once thought lost and gone, prejudice today it seems even if thought to have been emancipated still exists. It is a sad Story to say the least, there is much growth we as a society must do to insure awareness of the diversity of our civilization. To explore prejudice as it stands today.

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